Flood pictures

Here are pictures taken from the street leading to the new houses and from end of the local park, the water was still up a good 5 ft near the park and that was a week after the worse of the rains. Thankfully there has been a 5 mile dam erected here for the past 10 years as it is directly in line with a flood plain, this wasn't enough to save the newest houses however; locals couldn't believe it when they were given permission to build there. By the way these are luxery houses worth from 400-700k a lot of money in these parts! And all of them are occupied. I have heard that the water never actually got into the houses themselves but still a very bad time for all involved.

Strange days indeed...
Have you ever had one of those periods in your life where on the one hand everything is going great and on the other there's a whole load of bad things happening to people around you and a time of change and upheaval all round. Well I'm going through one of those times. I have a close friend who is very, very poorly in hospital and my thoughts go out to him and especially to his lovely wife and their children who have an awful lot on their plates at the moment. Other friends are also going through a rough time which was made much, much worse by the recent floods which totally swamped the whole area where they live, they were without electricity for days and completely cut off from the rest of the town, the clean-up is still going on. Where I live one of the main roads was closed for 9 days which meant a 20 mile round trip round several villages, some partially flooded, to get to essential places. Then there's the attempted bombings, change of prime minister and a long running family dispute. Yet in my own little world things are pretty good on all fronts... like I say strange days indeed.
Love and peace to all,
Lizzbee xxxx

Another funny shop name

I still haven't managed to snap those shop fronts in Leeds I told you about - 'Tanzinere' - tanning studio and 'Tile 'em High' - tile wholesalers.

So here's another from t'internet:

shophorror.co.uk. Enjoy!!

New Love!

I have just fallen in love.
My bro' is an out and out gadget freak and he's always updating his gizmos from his laptops & phones to his sat nav. And, he's always telling me how brilliant this or that gadget is and how I should get one. Anyway he's just updated his sat nav and I've inherited his old one which is only two years old and it is Brilliant! Especially as I'm forever getting lost and have a lot of travel to do for work. It also tells you the position of speed cameras and of course there are maps, you can even get it to show you where the nearest hotels, leisure centres and restaurants are. So even though I've only had it a few days (picked it up last Tuesday night in torrential rain, from Sheffield), I've fallen in love with it in a big way, I even have it on when I know exactly where I'm going.
By the way even though my brother thinks I'm mad for naming a gadget - I've called her Suki because she has such a lovely voice, she fits in just fine with Percy (my car).

News Flash

Michael Barrymore has been in the news again. He was asked recently if he'd be doing panto later this year, he said 'No I don't think so, I did Aladdin six years ago and I've never heard the last of it'.

Vagina Monologues@Sheffield Lyceum

Tonight I went with some chums from the drama group & book club (nine of us in all) to see the Vagina Monologues and it was great! Considering that I hadn't felt well all week and had tried in vain to give my ticket away in case I wasn't up to it; and despite the torrential rain and queues to get into and out of Sheffield, I was really pleased that I went. It's laugh out loud funny with suberb acting from Shabna Gulati (from corrie), Sammy Winward (from emmerdale) and especially Lesley Thomas (Dorian in birds of a feather). Some of Sammy's chums from Emmerdale were sat behind us lot and judging by the fact they were laughing louder than us at times it obviously went down well with them too. I'd recommend it to anyone, though obviously women outweighed men in the audience we were at and one or two of the men did look uncomfortable, not so the gay couple in front of me and K who were in hysterics throughout. It's a no holds barred sort of affair that's also very moving and very honest as well as being damned funny so not one to go see with sensitive types who are easily offended by exploring the anatomy of female sensuality in a public setting. By the way K and I couldn't help noticing how very tiny Lesley Thomas is in real life, she really is very petite... just shows you how telly changes one's proportions. Anyway do see it if you're that way out as it's a real treat.

In the land of the blind - The one-eyed man is King

This is my most favourite quote by Mark Twain so I decided to search out some other pearls, read on...
"I've had an absolutely wonderful evening, but this wasn't it" Groucho Marx
"I've been on a calendar but never on time" Marilyn Monroe
"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know, I've done it a thousand times" Mark Twain
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" Gandhi
"A bit of lusting after someone does wonders for the skin" Elizabeth Hurley
"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it" George Double Ya
"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it" Tommy Cooper
"Time you enjoyed wasting was not wasted" John Lennon
"When you're down and out something always turns up - usually the noses of your 'friends'" Orson Welles
"Money couldn't buy you friends but you get a better class of enemy" Spike Milligan
"The problem with people with no vices is that you can be sure they're gonna have some pretty annoying virtues" Elizabeth Taylor
"Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - try to understand before one of us dies" John Cleese

Country life

Around me there are loads of farmyards and farm animals and in one such place a great freindship began between a beautiful horse and an ordinary chicken. They went everywhere together, best friends, then one rainy day they were having a chat in the field and the horse wandered into a really muddy spot, so muddy that the horse started to sink! 'Quick, quick' said the horse to his best friend the chicken 'Get the farmer to get his car and pull me out, good god I'm sinking... quick' with that the chicken pelted off back to the farm and after a few desperate seconds realised the farmer was not around so she jumped into the BMW and went to rescue her best friend. Once there she tugged with her beak at the tow rope and pushed it towards horse, he grabbed it with his teeth and with chicken behind the wheel she hauled him out. 'You were fantastic' said the horse 'you are my bestest friend in the world and I in turn will always be there for you'. Several days later horse was minding his own business when all of a sudden he heard chicken screaming for help, of course he galloped over immediately where he found chicken drowning in the same boggy trench. 'Quick horse' shouted chicken 'Go and get farmer and his car to pull me out' but horse saw there was no time for that, ' Hang on chicken I have another idea' he said and with that he leant directly over the muddy pool ' Grab onto my thingy' he said and the chicken did. The chicken clung for dear life and was safely removed.
The moral of the story is that if you're hung like a horse you don't need a BMW to pull chicks.

Stop the Bus I want to get off!

Sometimes you're trundling along quite nicely and you suddenly realise that either you're on the wrong bus or that your bus has taken a detour down a very bumpy road. I find this particularly so if you have stroppy younger relatives trying to organise the route for you, they don't realise that the route they've now set you on is as hazardous as it is and kick up a storm when you get the map books out and point this out. Well, I stopped the bus on one little venture and now a storm cloud looms over the household... and of course my new role is 'Wicked Witch of the West' to poor Dorothy with her ruby slippers. Such is family life, no doubt the sun will emerge from the storm clouds, the Wicked Witch will turn into the Good Witch of the North again, and Dorothy will click her ruby slippers and go back to Kansas. And... most important of all peace will reign.
Peace & Happiness to all,
Lizbee

Community News Update

An update on the Dibley'esque Neighbourhood Watch Committee's latest adventures for you. Last weekend we had the annual fundraiser which as usual was bring and buy cake, plant & general gardening stuff stalls on the green. I managed to get rid of, sorry donate, 10 tomato plants that weren't going to make it into my packed greenhouse as I didn't have time to bake for them this year (which is a good thing when I think about it as it means my social life is obviously a lot busier than in previous years). As usual I got there for the start to see what interesting articles my fellow residents had donated and hopefully pick up something very useful for very little. The Major (as Chair) was heading the show with other committee members manning the stalls and setting aside goodies (by hiding them in little corners at the back) that they'd cherry picked from the early donations. I just loved the ensemble on & around the pasting tables and noticed that they'd done the old 'bucket and contents for £1!!' (yes there were two exclamation marks as if to hint that one could hardly believe one's good fortune at spotting such a bargain) trick again and I just had to have a nosey at a few of these buckets. Some of them seemed just full of crap to me but then one woman's crap... anyway one bucket caught my eye and because it had a block paving scraper and a few other small usable tools I decided it was for me even though there was a sticker on it (lower down) that said 'buyer beware - bucket leaks'. In fact all the other buckets had the same message on and I found myself wondering who on earth saves these leaky buckets for this annual event in fact I'd never seen so many leaky buckets in such close proximity to each other before, not one of them didn't leak! so much for the double exclamation marks!!

P.S. I still bought the bucket and contents for a pound plus some plants so a personal success for me and I bumped into one of my fellow NWatch members in the library later and discovered it had been 'THE most successful fundraiser ever' raising around £300 - leaky buckets rock obviously!!

Another long lost poem!

Another offering of my teen-age rambling attempts at poetry:
'Sighted Blindness'
I don't want to look for devils
in the angels that come to my door,
but when my eyes are blinded by beauty
I trust them all the more.
I invite them in and they come round,
eat my food and sprawl around.
I say 'Yes' they can borrow a record or two,
only now I notice they've taken a few.
More fool me, will I ever learn
that true friends take years to earn.

Hide the mobile phone tower

Such has been the public outcry in the US of A re: the location of cell phone masts they've taken to 'Artfully' hiding them. Somehow I don't think this is gonna work in deepest South, West Yorkshire or the Humber where the sight of folliage of this nature on something this high is more likely to cause a brain embolism or a car crash!

Funny Shop Names again

This one is in Ealing, London, but I am keen to get some more Yorkshire & the Humber ones on here and I know there are lots of them... so get snapping with the digicams! I remembered one near where I used to live in Leeds, it's a tanning boutique called 'Tanzinere' near Potternewton Leisure Centre & it made me chuckle just thinking about it.

Teen-age poetry

When I was a teen-ager I was always writing, poetry mostly, and making up stories for my nephews and nieces. Back then I sort of assumed that those creative elements would become part of my adult life but they didn't even make it much past my second decade. But I came across my teen-age ramblings recently and they are not that terrible... what do you think, here's one I made (much, much) earlier.
'Mystery'
Like whispers from strangers that hang in the breeze
and images of creatures that hide in the trees.
All this is strange - it's a mystery to me
like my own personality, that I never see.
Shadows in doorways, resurrection from the grave
and all those little things that people seem to save.
Like 'Where has all the money gone?' at the end of the week
and why are the ones most hurt always the weak?
How come people starve when we've mountains of food
and why does a uniform make people rude?
Why write poetry if there's no-one to read
and why does money inspire so much greed?
Why am I here, what's it all about?
... because if it was all clear, we wouldn't have to work it all out!
Lizbee x (aged about 18)

The best/worst shop names

I just love shop horrors like this one...
When I was growing up in South Yorkshire all shops seemed to have names like this fish and chip shop in Sheffield. I remember a hairdressers called 'Hair Today' and a bread shop owned by a lady named Barbera called 'Babs Baps' and the local chippy was 'Paul's Plaice' (even though they never sold plaice). When I lived in Leeds I used to drive home past a tile retailers called 'Tile 'em high' and I was delighted to drive past 'The Codfather' in Barnsley recently so I've decided to take my digicam out and about with me to see what other delights I can find. Please do email me with similar shop horrors to add to my collection.

I'm bloggin'... I'm bloggin'... hope you like bloggin' too...

You can take gel-nails a tad too far methinks!

I found this on a fellow bloggers site: thedirtydisher.blogspot.com and just had to snaffle it for the shock factor, please do feel free to comment...

Foodie at large!!

I just can't seem to get away from gorgeous food lately! Last night at the Book Club M brought the most amazing savoury Spanish themed food, mushroom pate, tomato and olive dips, lovely crisp breads and fresh fruit & shortbread to follow. Today at work it seemed like there was food all around all day from tasty sandwiches and black pepper oven baked crisps (a personal favourite) to loads of cakes & pastries and fresh fruit & biscuits; when we broke off -what did we talk about? No prizes for guessing we were discussing restaurants and delicatessens and of course their wares. Yikes! Must get rid of the gym jet-lag & back on the rowing machine!

P.S. Are there any other foodies out there?
Lizbee x

Phoenix Nights Book Club - May Meeting

We discussed 'Winter in Madrid' by CJ Sansom and M hosted with a Spanish theme to the food & wine: All members felt that this was '...the best book so far' that we as the Book Club have read, so many thanks for the fantastic suggestion by MA! This historical novel had most members gripped very early on and turned out to be quite a page turner with a richly woven tale of trust, love, loyalty and adventure set against a backdrop of Madrid both before and during the realities of enduring a devastating civil war. There were many reminders for members of what living in such circumstances must be like for those in similar struggles today. This book is so well written and so informative of a war I personally knew nothing about, it's also very credible with well rounded characters in the principal roles who never lose their very ordinary human strengths and weaknesses. A true modern classic! Highly reccommended. We also discussed another favourite from several members 'Snow falling on Cedars' by David Gutterson, again this novel evokes tension and drama from a slowly but surely burning plot in breathtaking & earily described surroundings and once again a very human and emotional tale. AS usual we drifted into talking about lots of other stuff: reality TV (namely Marbella Belles, at least I think that's what it was called, BB & Wife swap), other TV - Benidorm and Chelsea Flower Show. We also talked about how people view where we live and how appearances can be deceiving i.e. when people are perceived as having poorer cultural values when in fact they don't. We also laughed a lot and gossiped a bit.... 'Perfume' by Patrick Suskind is the June book (which I've actually already read due to my own confusion about which book was next!) and it's my turn as Host which I will be doing with a French theme...

Thought for today

This is from Marcus Aurelius' Meditations:
'Waste no more time thinking what a good man (person) should be. Be one.'
I first got into him about 15 years ago when he was quoted in a novel I was reading and I just had to follow it up; I hadn't thought about him for a few years until he turned up in Gladiator in a principal role as the Roman Emporer who looks on Maximus (Russel Crowe's character) as his son leading his real son (played by Joaquin Phoenix) on the path of destruction that maps the story.
I think what the quote is saying is stop thinking and talking about doing the right thing - just get on and do it, but you might have a different interpretation.

Well Blog Me!

Having not done this before I'm not sure how you will comment on what I've posted here but I've found it fun so far anyway. I'd like to hear comments back from other bloggers & passers by as I really am brand new to this so any friendly criticism will be very useful; I promise not to break down and cry, honestly, so do posts comments.
I look forward to reading whatever I get back.
Lizbee x

Community News

Our Neighbourhood Watch meetings are a real 'Dibley' treat. The Chairman is a retired Major with a couple of artificial limbs (think of the stereotype and then times it by 3) and the secretary is a prim looking lady in polyester who asks 'should I minute that' every few minutes; regular members include a retired policeman (who everyone defers to even when he's talking crap, he has his arms crossed and his feet up on the chair in front throughout the meeting!) a few retired couples who have been together so long they're more like conjoined twins who have been seperated, some other people that never ever say anything (I'm not even sure if they can all speak!) and me. I'm the youngest person (by a couple of decades) that turns up, which is a shame for lots of reasons. The first meeting I attended about a year ago I got the 'Slaughtered Lamb' reception from them all (you know that bit in 'American Werewolf' where the boys go into the pub ont' moors and everyone stops and stares at them until they leave) and it's still much the same but I don't care as I love it.
Anyway, the hot news this quarterly meeting was that the sign at the entrance to our estate has been savagely mown down by a mystery driver who hasn't been caught and no-one knows when the council will get around to fixing it; I must say I had wondered what had happened and now I know! Also the group are calling for speed cameras on one of the roads (yikes! not really in favour of that) and want to see more community policing - along with the rest of the country. On the upside there have been no reports of thefts from houses, cars, garages or sheds in the last quarter, phew we can all sleep a little more peacefully in our beds. The Chairman & Secretary were unanimously voted (by a system of Yeses and nods) to stay on in office for the next year, which suited everyone.
On the Churchy front the sermon was all about Jesus' humanity which was very interesting and linked up nicely with references to what made us all human - emotions and feelings for others versus Iraq and a missing child were topics for debate afterwards with a cup of tea and a shortbread biscuit.
Update: News Flash - There's to be a cake and plant stall next weekend to raise money for the Neighbourhood Watch so I'll be baking my famous (or is that infamous) Tea Loaf for the cake stall - and the recipe is secret so no amount of coaxing with home-made fairy cakes will make me part with it!

Phoenix Nights Book Club

I searched for ages for a Book Club to join and the only ones I managed to find out about were full i.e. they had more than enough members and weren't interested in any new ones! I realised I'd have to start one up, but how. Then I remembered my friends sister ran a successful one in London and I got her to email me the details of how she set hers up. Most of them run from members homes but as I was opening this up to people I didn't know (not knowing enough avid readers locally myself), that idea didn't appeal to me at all. So I hired a room in the local amdram Theatre and posted flyers wherever I could for weeks prior to the first meeting. My choice of venue proved to be inspirational as I got a lot of members from the Theatre and in turn I joined the Theatre Group and Film Club. That first meeting was last December and I think 10 people came to the first meeting, I'd laid on some wine, Schlor and cheese and brought along a couple of books as suggestions. We meet every month for 2 hours in the evening and have read 5 books so far with mixed reviews! But the Book Club isn't just about reading we talk about all sorts of things and new members join as others stop coming. Because we've all paid a yearly subscription the room is booked until the end of the year so it's not dependant on everyone turning up & there's always room for new members. I write a Newsletter to keep members informed that I send out by email. I'm so pleased I did this as it gives me immense pleasure and I've massively broadened my reading horizons, my latest 'fave' reads from the Book Club are: 'Winter in Madrid' by CJ Sansom and 'Perfume' by Patrick Suskind. My suggestion for the next read is 'A short history of tractors in Ukranian' by Maria Lewisky which I've already read and highly recommend as it's so funny and original.

Coming home

When I returned to live in a village in my home town after living in the big city of Leeds for 20 years I found so much had changed. Somehow I'd held onto romantic notions of ease & familiarity with my surroundings and bumping into old school friends in Asda prompting delighted reunions but it wasn't like that at all.
Not only had all the road layouts and buildings changed so much that it was virtually unrecognisable to me and I couldn't find my way about, but the feel of the place was so very different from what I'd expected. What followed was a disconcerting, raw and scary feeling of belonging nowhere. Eventually I realised that I'd have to 'start all over again', so feeling like the new girl at school I started talking to people and getting to know the local community. It was painful and very slow at first but got less scary and more exciting as time went on.
For example, I decided to join a Book Club, being a voracious reader from a very young age I thought this would be a fine way for me to meet new people. Unfortunately the only ones I could find out about were full, there was only one thing for it I'd have to start my own!
You can read more about this in the Book Club section. I also decided to join as many community groups and forums as I could, hence my attendance at neighbourhood watch meetings and one-off forums which not only are packed with useful local info. but also a banquet for an avid pw (people watcher) such as me. You can read more about these in the Community News section where I'll also post updates about churchy issues; yes I also decided to start going to church again (last went regularly as a teenager!), not because I'm deeply religious but because I wanted some way of finding the time to focus on the spiritual side of my nature and I find that this fulfils that need in me. I joined the local gym too, but still can't seem to get into a regular pattern with it and find I go as an excuse to get out of the house or to use the other facilities there such as the sauna! Is this just me being incredibly lazy or do other people suffer from gym jet-lag?

Road Trip - 946 miles!

I drove 946 miles to Disneyland Paris and back a couple of months ago. I was really pleased with myself because it's only the second time I've driven abroad. It was quite an experience and made me think about other road trips I might want to make. I loved the motorways over there, they're so much easier to drive on. It was a successful trip all round but then I love travel and adventures, don't you?

Charidee abseil

About six weeks ago I did a sponsered abseil for a cancer charity from a 120 ft high hospital building. This is a photo of me on the way down and Yes I was smiling despite having to wear a huge stupid 'T' Shirt with the group I was abseiling withs name on it and yes they did insist that I kept it! I raised £230 and the group raised nearly £3ooo altogether!! Plus it was great fun, the charity have asked me to do another in June...

Me in B & W piccy

This photo is about 6 months old but I do quite like it and it's not often I can say that honestly about piccies of myself! Also my daughter took it so it's special to me for that too!

New Blogger hits the waves

New Blogger Liz-bee has finally decided to get her toes wet on t'internet with her very own blog.

'I have no idea what I'm doing but it looks like fun'.
I'll write as often as I can about things that you might find interesting. I'm an avid PW (people watcher), read constantly and run a Book Club, occasionally do oddball things for 'Charidee' like abseil off 120 ft high hospital buildings. I work in large open planned offices with the constant whizz of the climate control humming in my ear with a small team who, when not hard at work, mainly talk about food (good/bad food, recipes, growing food, cooking, eating, dining out, in fact everything 'foody'). I also get involved in a lot of community activities where I live and really enjoy attending neighbourhood watch meetings where thankfully the most exciting thing that anyone has to report is that a street sign has been mysteriously knocked down in the night!
I'm trying unsuccessfuly to write a book and I also like to paint when I'm in the right frame of mind.